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Violenze maschili contro le donne, patriarcato, femminicidi anche in vita: la testimonianza di Ilaria Di Roberto – scrittrice, artista, attivista femminista radicale, vittima di violenza e cyber bullismo – dopo le parole di Barbara Palombelli.
di Ilaria Di Roberto
In questi giorni abbiamo assistito ad una bufera di indignazione generale a seguito dell’intervento della giornalista – nonché conduttrice del noto programma Forum – Barbara Palombelli, pronunciatasi in merito alle probabili cause e dinamiche che roteano attorno ai reati di femminicidio. È innegabile che tutto questo mi abbia lasciato piuttosto scossa, non solo in qualità di attivista impegnata costantemente nella lotta contro la violenza di genere, ma in ogni modo umanamente possibile.
Qualche giorno fa sono stata contattata dalla redazione di Forum, la quale essendo a conoscenza della mia vicenda già nota alla stampa italiana, mi ha proposto di presenziare al programma in una puntata in cui avrebbero affrontato da vicino la tematica del Revenge Porn, ovviamente utilizzando la mia esperienza personale per inscenare l’ennesimo spettacolo tragicomico sulla pelle di donne, la cui vita si è realmente trasformata in una tragedia.
A dispetto delle accuse reiterate dall’opinione pubblica, la sottoscritta – etichettata da tre anni a questa parte come “arrivista”, “amante della notorietà”, “intenta a sbarcare il lunario poiché indigente” – ha declinato l’invito della redazione a partecipare al programma; partecipazione altresì retribuita – aggiungo – trattasi nell’eventualità di un’interpretazione degna di Nobel.
È appurato che per quanto sia un programma di rilievo, considerando che le ingiustizie sono all’ordine del giorno, si tratta comunque di storie pressappoco inventate e degnamente interpretate da presumibili attori, artisti da strada o gente comune che vivendo in uno stato di precarietà, si accontenta di fare qualche comparsata in Tv pur di rimediare pranzo e cena. Di primo acchito, credevo si trattasse di una semplice comparsa tra il pubblico del programma o in extremis di dover raccontare la mia vicenda in maniera approssimativa senza entrare troppo nel merito, allo scopo di sensibilizzare gli adolescenti alla tematica del revengeporn. Invece mi è stato chiesto di dissimulare il ruolo di una vittima di cyberbullismo, irretita in un secondo momento da una setta, interpretando me stessa nel corso di una delle udienze.
Guardo Forum da quando avevo 7 anni e benché si tratti di un programma spazzatura, dedito per lo più alla spettacolarizzazione smoderata di un dolore per giunta mal interpretato da presumibili cavie – pronte a calarsi nel ruolo di vittime – sono cresciuta con l’idea che questo programma rappresentasse a tutti gli effetti l’espressione massima di giustizia. O almeno finché a dare un senso e autenticità al programma non fosse la grande Tina Lagostena Bassi che nelle vesti di giudice, rivoluzionava il mondo con il suo operato e il suo costante impegno a sostegno delle donne vittime di violenza.
Sette donne sono state uccise nell’arco di una settimana.
Sette donne uccise presumibilmente DA UOMINI e IN QUANTO DONNE, in virtù di un macro-sistema di portata millenaria. Un sistema fagocitato da una cultura ampiamente sessista e vincolato ad archetipi che affondano le proprie radici in un modello socio-culturale patriarcale, all’interno del quale la donna occupa una posizione subalterna rispetto all’uomo ed inevitabilmente ne diventa oggetto di violenza.
E rimarco SETTE.
SETTE donne uccise barbaramente.
Ottantatré dall’inizio del 2021.
Donne strappate alla vita per mano di chi asseriva di amarle, assassinate per aver avuto il coraggio di dire NO o perché i propri compagni, mariti, fidanzati – e rimarco UOMINI – non riescono ad accettare la fine di una relazione, optando anziché per la rassegnazione, per la prevaricazione, nonché massima espressione di potere e di controllo del cosiddetto “sesso forte” sulle donne, sempiternamente bollate come “sesso debole”.
Nessuna di queste donne merita di essere omessa:AllessandraZorzin, Sonia Lattari, Giuseppina Di Luca, Rita Amenze, Angelica Salis, Ada Rotini, Vanessa Zappalà, Catherine Panis e Stefania ChiarissaPanis, ShegushePaeshti, Silvia Manetti, Marylin Pera, Lorenza Monica Vallejo Mejia, Vincenza Tortora, Ginetta Giolli, Chiara Gualzetti, Silvia Susana VillegasGuzman, Sharon Micheletti, Alessandra Piga, Bruna Mariotto, PereraPriyadarshawie, Maria Carmina Fontana, TundeBlessing, Angela Dargenio, Ylenia Lombardo, Emma Elsie Michelle Pezemo, Silvia Del Signore, Saman Abbas, Annamaria Ascolese, Tina Boero, Elena RalucaSerban, Dorina Alla, Ornella Pinto, Rossella Placati, Deborah Saltori, Clara Ceccarelli, Lidia Peschechera, LuljetaHeshta, Piera Napoli, Ilenia Fabbri, Sonia Di Maggio, Teodora Casasanta, Roberta Siragusa, Victoria Osagie, Sharon Barni.
E questi sono soltanto i casi noti alla stampa.
Nomi diversi, storie diverse, epopee di donne violate nella propria integrità fisica e psichica, accomunate da un’unica matrice, la stessa che si adombra dietro ad ogni caso di femminicidio: essere uccise “in quanto donne”, in ottemperanza ad un sistema brutale che ci vuole serve e schiavi volontarie della perversione machista e che ci silenzia, qualora si cerchi impugnare le armi e rovesciare tale paradigma. Un sistema che ci impone il dolore e ci costringe a trovare attenuanti per i nostri maltrattanti; che ci sospinge verso il basso fino a reprimere i nostri sentimenti, i nostri istinti e la nostra – passatemi il termine – ESASPERAZIONE, dovuta pressappoco al senso estenuante di impotenza di fronte alle falle legislative, istituzionali, burocratiche e a quella lunga serie infinita di norme e regole sociali che mirano alla nostra distruzione.
Donne martoriate moralmente, isolate, perseguitate, molestate, accoltellate, strangolate, sgozzate e stuprate barbaramente pochi attimi prima della tragedia, nei minuti antecedenti all’atto finale, quando qualcuno – per indole o per “predisposizione biologica” – si arroga il diritto di decidere per loro, della loro vita, sul loro corpo.
Ho ascoltato le parole di Barbara Palombelli relativamente alla questione dei femminicidi e per attimo ho creduto si trattasse di uno scherzo, o nella peggiore delle ipotesi dell’ennesimo becero tentativo di narrazione tossica a danno delle donne. Ma non è stato così. Riporto la sua espressione così com’è stata pronunciata nel corso della trasmissione di Forum, in onda il 17/9/21:
«Questi uomini erano completamente fuori di testa obnubilati oppure c’è stato un comportamento esasperante, aggressivo anche dall’altra parte?».
Parole agghiaccianti, deplorevoli e del tutto contestabili, oltre che di una pericolosità estrema. Figlia e serva di un sistema che rivittimizza le donne creando attenuanti per i carnefici, un volto noto come quello di Barbara Palombelli ci ha dimostrato ancora una volta quanto possa essere imperante e così profondamente radicata la cultura dello stupro all’interno della nostra società. Di fatto, non solo dimostra di non aver compreso la differenza sostanziale tra un femminicidio e un omicidio – nel cui caso vengono a mancare il movente e la matrice, ossia la particella “in quanto donna” che nel primo caso invece sussiste – ma ha deliberatamente spostato l’attenzione dagli autori della violenza alla vittima, deresponsabilizzando seppur velatamente il carnefice dal crimine commesso. Crimine, secondo la sua opinione, derivante dal comportamento esasperante della donna che viene ammazzata.
E lo ha fatto trascurando che non si tratti di meri casi isolati – nel contesto dei quali è lecito indagare su ambo le parti e porsi domande – bensì di una violenza di natura millenaria che non si riduce ad un singolo colpevole, ma ad anni ed anni di credenze, archetipi, stereotipi, diktat e retaggi che derivano da una cultura misogina e patriarcale.
Non smetterò mai di rimarcare che la morte fisica della donna, sia solo l’acme di un lungo ciclo di violenze sofferte, denunciate, silenziate e talvolta rigettate dalla magistratura italiana.
Per ogni vittima di stupro alla quale viene domandato com’era vestita al momento del fatto o a ogni survivor a cui viene rimproverato di essersi fidata troppo del proprio compagno, al punto da condividere con lui del materiale privato, una donna muore o rischia di morire ammazzata proprio per mano di quest’indifferenza generale opacizzata dall’ipocrisia di una società ormai alla deriva. La stessa indifferenza che davanti ad una “semplice” (in senso figurato) molestia da strada, ci fa alzare le spalle e dire “che vuoi farci? L’uomo è cacciatore” impedendoci di arginare il problema alla radice, prima che un brutto sogno si trasformi in tragedia.
Studiare e analizzare le dinamiche che roteano attorno ai reati di violenza è di importanza vitale poiché non solo ci aiuta a comprendere che non esiste rabbia, esasperazione, gonna, alcol, droga che possano giustificare un atto tanto barbaro quanto crudele come il femminicidio, ma ci induce inevitabilmente a razionalizzare e ad interiorizzare il pensiero che non esistono domande che possano smantellare più di duemila anni di patriarcato, il cui unico antidoto è la rieducazione della classe che esercita il potere sin dall’alba dei tempi. Una rieducazione che non venga impartita unicamente dalle “madri” – come sovente si legge nei commenti sui social davanti ad un caso di stupro – ma a partire dalle scuole, dalle istituzioni, dalla società stessa e che miri soprattutto al disfacimento delle narrazioni tossiche davanti alle quali a mio avviso, ci si indigna sempre troppo poco.
Le parole, scandite a voce alta da Barbara Palombelli, sono l’ennesimo colpo sferrato a danno delle donne, ma anche il trionfo e il sollievo di chi ritiene che la colpa della morte delle donne, sia sempre delle donne stesse. Parole che nella pretesa indignazione generale, hanno lasciato emergere la puntuale ipocrisia italiana.
Di fatto, ciò che dobbiamo chiederci non è tanto se una donna, il cui cadavere è ancora caldo, possa aver esasperato il suo assassino al punto da ucciderla, ma la ragione per la quale tentiamo ancora di emulare la rappresentazione di una società paritaria, fingendo che la modalità adottata dalla Palombelli non sia anche il racconto nazionale che quotidianamente si fa della violenza di genere in Italia. Le medesime linee narrative pressappochiste che viaggiano in modo più o meno esplicite su tutti i media e che, a ogni donna uccisa per movente patriarcale, ci impone titoli del tipo “L’ha uccisa perché lei voleva lasciarlo”, apponendo ad un atto brutale come il femminicidio la reazione ad un’ingiustizia emotiva.
La narrazione della Palombelli non è altro che il disseppellimento di una convinzione popolare e “popolana” scalcagnamente esplicita, drammaticamente ripresa da tutti i media per ciò che concerne le narrazioni tossiche relative alla mattanza a danno delle donne.
Scuse, alibi, giustificazioni non plausibili create a tavolino per diffondere la convinzione che tutto ciò che non è realizzabile umanamente, sia facilmente ottenibile mediante la violenza. E non solo: una volta ottenuto, avrai anche un intero sistema a supportarti e che per quanto scellerato sia, sarà eternamente disposto a trovare aggravanti per le vittime e attenuanti per il carnefice.
Auspico che la Mediaset prenda in considerazione la possibilità di un’azione disciplinare contro la conduttrice, non solo per il suo messaggio palesemente diseducativo e pericoloso, ma anche per aver incoraggiato e alimentato un’ulteriore mattanza a danno delle donne.
Cara Barbara, se fossi un uomo non oserei mai esprimermi in maniera tanto fraudolenta, ma da donna ESASPERATA quale sono, credo di potermene arrogare il diritto: la prossima volta facci un favore, STAI ZITTA.
LEGGI ANCHE
Per le donne vittime di violenza essere sopravvissute è considerata una colpa in questa società
«Non siamo un sesso debole, siamo sopravvissute»
Condanna della Corte Europea per i Diritti Umani per vittimizzazione secondaria in tribunale
Vigliacchi randellatori che perpetuano messaggi depravati
Criminali complici dei carnefici
Non esistono carnefici buoni, le vere intenzioni si svelano sempre
Vigliacchi violenti pullulano, chi denuncia viene rimosso
Revenge porn, perversione criminale contro le donne
Amori violenti e malati? No, sono perversione, possessività disumana, criminalità assoluta
Petizione online Stop all’odio generalizzato verso le donne sui social
Basta dare la colpa agli abiti
https://www.pressenza.com/it/2021/03/basta-dare-la-colpa-agli-abiti/
8 Marzo: tra politica, falsi miti e sentimentalismo tossico
https://www.pressenza.com/it/2021/03/8-marzo-tra-politica-falsi-miti-e-sentimentalismo-tossico/
Manifestazione o scenografia?
https://www.pressenza.com/it/2021/03/manifestazione-o-scenografia/
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